The seven deadly curs’d sins … Intemperance

Thank you for the case of wine which was delivered today; what a splendid birthday present! You certainly know my weakness and I hope that there will always be a Beaune of contention between us. I often think I should have taken up the molecular biology of the grape rather than messing about with worms and fish. There could have been an Institut de Oenologie Moleculaire and we might even have seen some biotechnology companies with names like Chateautech, Vintage Genes and Sham Pain Pharmaceuticals. I have noticed that some of the best genomes for study come from things that are good to eat; perhaps there is still time to found Gourmet Genetics Inc. with oyster and lobster genome programmes. We are being pressed today not to indulge in excesses and to do everything in moderation. It seems that we have all inherited large numbers of terrible genes from our parents and that all the pleasures of life are very bad for us. Have you noticed how every new discovery of a bad gene is announced with screaming headlines and how the scientists involved behave with cautious delight in television interviews? I wake up every morning in fear that I will be told that I have a gene that makes me sensitive to the traces of hafnium in Pinot Noir grapes. The current trend to give genes a bad name distracts people from the fact that a lot of their genes are pretty good. Some years ago I found that every family has its Uncle Frank. He is the one who smoked 60 cigarettes and drank two bottles of vodka every day of his life from the age of four, had six wives and innumerable girlfriends, and raced Ferrari cars. Unfortunately he was killed in a mountaineering accident at the age of 92 in the Himalayas. I have tried, in vain, to interest scientists and politicians in starting the Uncle Frank Genome Project so we can get hold of all these good genes. I have been told that the Uncle Franks of this world are only lucky; but I don't accept that as a satisfactory answer. The genetics of luck seems like a good subject to me, and much better than the genetics of alcoholism or homosexuality. Actually, the association of intemperance with alcoholism is relatively recent and its extension to sodium, cholesterol, animal fat and tobacco is very modern. …